I'm scrolling through Instagram. Instead of feeling inspired (how I want to feel) I feel icky with envy. A script from my monkey mind:
"People are doing such cool things! They are pickling homegrown cucumbers and having farm to table parties and plucking tomatoes off their vines for gazpacho! I am so lame: I can't even keep a house plant alive."
I'm envious because my thinking brain declares that I should be a gardener. Gardeners are cool and hip and earthy. Plus, I consume fresh vegetables in massive quantities; it makes logical sense that I would grow my own. But I can't commit. My dad, epic gardener, is famous for growing sweet corn in northern Alaska. As kids, my siblings and I spent most summer mornings with the mosquitoes, weeding and watering. Icy fall weekends remind me of numb fingers digging in the near-frozen soil, harvesting the veggies for winter's use. Yes, it was incredible to grow our own food. But, it was demanding work. The gardeners I know are tied to home during the growing months. I've come to realize, that as dreamy as it sounds to step outside my door to pick my dinner vegetables, I don't want to work that hard during summer.
So I've decided to change my perceptions. instead of feeling:
- envious of the gardening gangsters on Instagram
- lazy, not enough
I can decide to be:
- an appreciative consumer of creativity and green beauty on Instagram
- a joyful customer, gleefully supporting the local farmers' markets
It's easy for me to get caught up in the "not enough" game. But I'm getting better about recognizing those thoughts early, observing the thoughts, and then reframing to appreciate how amazing the people on our planet are, without feeling that I need to be more.
Do you ever feel "not enough"? How do you respond to these feelings? I'd love to hear from you!