I finally did it.
I have a special shelf in my closet that has housed the jeans I wore like a boss during my twenties. My husband loved the jeans, my friends complimented me when I wore them. I felt amazing. Except I didn’t. To wear those jeans I was following a very restrictive diet and exercising excessively. I was miserable, aside from the fleeting moments following a compliment. To wear those jeans I wasn’t living my life. I didn’t notice the beauty in the present moment, instead I obsessed about what I was or wasn’t going to eat, how many calories I was burning. My fitness plan ruled my life.
Each passing year, no matter how hard I worked, the jeans gradually tightened. When they became unbutton-able I tucked them carefully away, determined that one day they would fit again.
Almost twenty years later, I have released dieting and excessive exercising. I feel amazing and free and flowing and appreciative of the present moment. I have finally learned to love myself right now, without the condition of buttoning a pair of pants.
Yesterday I went to town on my closet. I tried on everything. If something didn’t fit and feel incredible on my body right now it went to the giveaway pile. I ignored that little voice that whispered, “But it would look so cute if you lost those last five pounds.”
Guess what, little voice: There is no need to lose five pounds. I am fabulous. I am strong. I am healthy. (And plus, those twenty-year old jeans have gone in and out of style four times already. I don’t think they are coming back in.)
I took the Skinny-Me Jeans off the sacred shelf and placed them in the give away pile. I thanked them for the good times and smiled, because:
I am fabulous. I am strong. I am healthy. In this very moment.
Beautiful friend, how do you feel in this very moment?